Tha Youka

Fat Kid Sid Shits the Bed & Hideki Ain't so Lucky

2008-08-29T09:12:00.002-04:00

(Pictured: Jason Giambi & Cousin, Mandy Giambi)

Well the Red Sox took 2/3 and that's not bad. The only thing funnier from the series than Bobby Abreu pussing out and not catching Jason Bay's triple was Mike Pussina (I'm trying to use as many pussy-esque words as possible in this post) and Joe Girardi even refering to the Yankees playoff hopes.

Dustin Pedroia has come from the rookie of the year to an indispensible players. It's really come to the point that I don't want to imagine this team without the little shit.

Speaking of indispensible, if Josh Beckett is really this hurt; we're fucked. Redneck Josh Beckett, is not the only, but the most important key to the Red Sox repeating.

Last, the bullpen is as sporatic as a middle aged woman on medication. Some days its quiet and weird (Who the fuck plays with bottles for a whole year? It was kind of unique last year in October for Fox camera and what not but now just borderline retarded.) and others suicidal and manic. I think the only people that can fully be trusted is Papelbon and Masterson.

A few last points:

All you need to know about Jason Bay: 24 RBIs in 24 games.
Mark Kotsay's wifey is hot.
Giambi looks like a hulking recovering alcoholic pedophile.

David Pauley will get shelled on Saturday.

Predicted Dice-K line tonight: 6IP 6BB 6K 3H 1ER

A-Rod Lifts Red Sox Past NY

2008-08-27T11:45:00.006-04:00

(Pictured: A-Rod having his breasts massaged by Joe Torre.)

3 Time MVP and all around-"might be best player once its all said", Alex Rodriguez, sucked last night and was booed hardcore by the New York faithful. While A-Rod is pretty much the man, he was terrible last night, posting the beautiful line of: 0-for-5, 2 K, 2GIDP(one with bases loaded), and 7 LOB. Don't forget his error either.

Although A-Rod sucked, I've got to give some serious credit to Justin Masterson, who is too legit to quit. The guy has come out of Pawtucket and done everything asked of him, switching to the bullpen seamlessly. He's pretty much the anti-Buchholz right now.

But getting back to A-Rod, seriously Yankees if you don't want him, I'd love to see him in Boston. And I'm sure he's OK, he probably slept on some nice stripper tits last night.

Wakefield had a very Dice-K like night going 5 innings and securing the win, which is more than I expected from his elderly ass.

The Red Sox are either close, or have picked up Kotsay from the ATL today which is good news. Safer than trading for Gary Shefield and signing Barry "Bail" Bonds they played it safe and got a guy who kills Fenway Park to pick up for JD Drew's frail self.

In other good news, Beckett will be back Friday. If Beckett is healthy the Red Sox should be OK as he is godly in postseason play. I don't really give a shit if he sucks from this point until the playoffs because you know he will be lights out like always in the playoffs.

Tonight is the battle of 2 of my least favorite, ugliest pitchers in baseball: HGH, born again Christian, battling porn addiction(who battles that, I enjoy my addiction?) Paul Byrd vs. Fat kid Sid "Shitfaced" Ponson. I pick the Porn Star, Paul Byrd over the bloated and fiending Ponson.

One last thing before I go feed my porn addiction, isn't it great the Red Sox are erasing New York from the playoff picture. I mean I'm over the whole "Yankees Suck" thing but it's still pretty cool. Peace NY!

Time for Red Sox to Man Up

2008-08-26T09:03:00.000-04:00

(Pictured: Pedro Martinez throws Joba's father out of wheel chair.)

4.5 games out and flying into Yankee Stadium one last time, its really becoming time for the Red Sox to man up. While playing relatively well over the past month, the Rays, Twins, and White Sox have been hauling ass and show absolutely no sign they will slow down. Going into NY seems like a big series, but really the Sox should own NY. This is an NY team that lost Wang, Joba, and their dignity half way through the season.

What's hurting the Sox however is the loss of Drew, Lowell, Aardsma, and Beckett. But luckily Lugo is still hurt and the Red Sox are likely to lie to him about the results of his MRI than let him back out on the field in September.

The pitching match up is as the following:

Wakefield vs. Pettitte
Depends on what Wakefield shows up fresh of the DL. I predict a loss.

Byrd vs. Ponson
Wow battle of the scrubs. I'll take Sox because I never bet on Ponson. Ever.

Lester vs. Pussina
Even though Pussina is having hell of a year, I don't trust his old ass. I'll go with Lester on this one, he's pissed after fucking up last outing.